


Yes and No, Ones and Oh!

by SStickperson



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: "Foreign Languages", Computer Geeks, Critical Fails, Dungeons and Dragons, Gods not understanding gods, Lying Dungeon Masters, M/M, Paladins, Puzzles, Skeletons, This really happened during a campaign
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-17 13:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SStickperson/pseuds/SStickperson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was their tradition to play Dungeons and Dragons, though no one was sure how it started. It just happened. But now the whole team is playing, and the campaigns are just as ridiculous as the rest of their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yes and No, Ones and Oh!

**Author's Note:**

> For the Avengers' Rare Pair Makeout Fest, prompt: Rogers/Thor: Smarter than you think
> 
> I honestly don't know how I got this from "smarter than you think."

They’re all gathered around the table, Tony at the head of the table as DM. They’ve just had a half-hour long discussion about using “ride” check for dancing, wherein they also discovered that while Clint getting it on in a drunken stupor at the Slither Inn was hilarious, apparently the man’s elven bard was a light weight that got whiskey dick easier than he got drunk and sent them all into peals of laughter.

Of course, that was before the child who asked for their help had killed himself with a needle trap opening the chest his father had to get to them to the tower to rescue him, and Steve, being a paladin, had almost ratted them out--couldn’t leave the boy behind--nearly left the group--until they forcefully took the corpse from him and threw it in a ravine in the bottom of the tower.

Of course, that was before they realized they were up against an army of the dead that kept respawning.

Of course, that was before Steve’s paladin was knocked out, dying, and Tony promising them that if they could just make it past that last puzzle they could rescue him.

It was a little side door they had stumbled upon through the library. After skimming a few of the books with odd notes about necromancy, they had noticed the door, checking it out and then seeing the puzzle wall. They had left it alone for the time being, instead deciding to go back to the room on the first floor with the warring skeletons. That was where Steve’s paladin had taken a hit for Thor’s fighter because it was a combination of critical _fails_ from Natasha’s mage, where instead of hitting her mark, she was bumped by Clint’s bard who had tripped over a stray leg bone, and the spell went awry--leaving Steve just enough of a reflex check to take the hit for Thor, who was stronger and thereby more useful to finish with the skeleton wars. Panicking, they had drug the bleeding paladin into the library and started going through the puzzles when Tony hinted at something of a healing nature lying beyond it.

(Steve, meanwhile, was secretly glad his paladin was out cold. He didn’t get the puzzle at all, so he couldn’t help out even if he knew it.)

11

1_1_

And next to the puzzle was a pile of four stone cards, two with zero, and two with one. No one seemed to understand it, and Steve was worried his lover’s face would freeze in that look of serious contemplation. He’d no longer get to see Thor smile, and that would be terrible. Then again, the look of deep thought was a good one for him to wear, no matter how much he loved his smile. Both Thor and the fighter he played already felt guilty even though all of them had explained that the paladin was known for defense and curative magic, and Clint had been teasing them about making a lover’s sacrifice. Bruce commented that he thought it was cute, but Natasha simply said that it meant it confirmed her suspicions that Steve’s paladin and Thor’s fighter had been banging behind their backs. Clint had first accused them of it when they showed up at the Slither Inn together, arguing over the nature of the gods. Thor (and ergo, his fighter as well) hadn’t understood why paladins had to be lawful good, had to worship one god and dedicate themselves, and had been grilling not only Steve’s paladin, but the other paladins at the fighting arena during the festival they had all met in.

11

1_1_

“What the hell does this even mean?” Clint griped, staring at the drawing of the puzzle on the papers littered about in front of them.

Natasha’s mage seemed about ready to blow the wall up with a fireball. “This is stupid.”

Tony just grinned cheekily. “Your reward is going to totally be worth it if you can solve this.”

“It’d better damn well heal Steve completely--”

“Who?” Tony asked, leaning toward Clint as he spoke, putting a hand around his ear.

“St--”

“Who?”

“Gareth,” Thor said, looking up at Tony to frown. “And I place one of the zero cards into the first hole, and a one into the second.”

Tony blinked. “What?”

“The code should read one-zero-one-one.”

They all stared at him, and Tony seemed the most surprised of them all. He stared at Thor, then sputtered, then scowled.

“Did you cheat?”

“Nay, dungeon master. Your code requested the number eleven in binary coding, am I not right?”

“How in hell do you know binary?” Tony nearly shouted. “It’s _binary_!”

“Binary!” Clint shouted, rising in fury. “Who the fuck knows binary?”

“Apparently _Thor_ ,” Tony snarled back, then gestured, saying offhandedly. “And Bruce who was _suppose_ to solve the puzzle. If you didn’t notice, there was a puzzle for each of you idiots.”

“Which means that the door is opened, and we can now save Gareth the paladin,” Thor said seriously. “What does the room look like beyond the wall?”

Tony looked at him in complete disbelief, then threw his hands up. “How the _fuck_ do you know binary?”

Thor scowled. “I learned it when you mentioned that it was the language of computers. I wished to speak to JARVIS in his native tongue.”

Steve couldn’t help it: he laughed. He took Thor’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I love you, Thor.”

Thor beamed at him. “The sentiment is returned most dearly, beloved.” He turned to Tony. “Now, let us heal Gareth the paladin.”

As it turned out, Tony had been lying.

As it turned out, Tony was extremely good at making things up on the fly when faced with a group of angry adventurers.


End file.
